Task Three was quite a quick one compared to One and Two, but definitely an interesting experience. I wanted to try something I hadn’t done before, and had photographed plenty of people before. Something I had never really done before was self portraits, and I thought this would be a great chance to try them out!

It was tricky doing so, it involved setting up the camera perfectly and then quickly going and getting in front of it. But experimenting with the different lighting affects was a lot of fun and created some interesting images.

My concept idea for the self portraits revolved around my anxiety disorder, and the medication I have to use to keep it under control. I only very recently went back on the medication to, so it is very fresh in my mind how different it feels on and off it. I wanted to try and show that through the photographs. It can be so confusing. I am so happy on the medication, it feels like i’m no longer trapped in my own mind feeling like i’m going to fall apart. But I still have to try so hard, and I try so hard to impress other people with how happy and normal I am, that I wonder whether this me, really is me? But when I am not on my medication I feel like I am watching myself implode without being able to do anything about it, like I trapped within my own mind. And I still try hard for people, but it just doesn’t work out.

That’s why I feel there are two meaning to each portrait. The brighter one shows me when I am trying my best with people, but there is the sinister undertone of the medication in my hand, as it also shows that trying with people is easier on it. The other portrait shows me when I’m not trying for other people, and though I will regularly laze around in baggy and geeky clothes even when on my medication, it’s a lot more common when I’m on it, and the portrait is more of a representation of how I become a recluse and a bit of a social mess.

If I was to change anything about this project, it would be that I would get hold of something I could hold in my hand to set the camera off from where I am standing, instead of relying on timers and helpers.

Photographing the objects was nice, though I wish the background was a little brighter and that I had experimented more with the infinity curve effects.

I am very happy with my final results, I think they are crisp, clean and properly represent the concepts I was putting across, even if they are possibly a little to complicated for such a short project to properly get across.

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